World“I'm the photo my sisters take to their surgeons,” says Kim Kardashian...

“I’m the photo my sisters take to their surgeons,” says Kim Kardashian in an irreverent monologue



“I know, I’m also surprised to see myself here.” With that phrase, Kim Kardashian began his appearance on Saturday Night Live, the program of sketches which for 40 years has been channeling the political and social situation of Americans through a satirical and irreverent vision. “When they invited me, I was thinking, ‘Do you want me to be the presenter? Why? It’s been a long time since a movie premiered with me. In fact, only one debuted and no one told me about the premiere. My mom must have forgotten,” she continued, making a clear and ironic reference to the sex tape that elevated her to the altars of television popularity.

With that beginning, the monologue promised. And it fulfilled expectations: social networks and fans of SNL praised its number, even saying that “it was one of the best openings in the history of the program”. The most famous face of the Kardashian clan has made jokes at will to everyone around her: from her sisters to her ex-husband Kanye West to OJ Simpson and her mother’s current boyfriend Corey Gamble. The following is a video with the complete monologue – in English – and a compilation of some of the most hilarious excerpts from a participation that demonstrates that the queen of the reality shows and social networks also know how to laugh at itself.

about your sisters

“I’m thrilled to be here tonight to show you guys that I’m so much more than just a pretty face…and good hair, great makeup, amazing breasts and a perfect ass. Basically, I’m much more than this reference photo my sisters show their plastic surgeons.”

About Corey Gamble, your mother’s boyfriend

“The only thing I’m really proud of is that no one can call me a fortune hunter. Honestly, I don’t know how anyone can turn into this. So I asked my mom’s boyfriend Corey.”

About OJ Simpson

“My father was and remains a great influence and inspiration for me and I thank him for opening my eyes to racial injustice. Thanks to him I met a black person for the first time. Want to guess who did it? [No original, Kim usa a expressão “take a stab in the dark”, que em inglês significa literalmente “dar uma facada no escuro” e que, embora seja usada para se referir à tentativa de adivinhar algo, é um trocadilho que faz referência à acusação de que O. J. Simpson matou a facadas sua ex-mulher e um amigo.] I know it’s a little weird for someone to remember the first black person they met, but OJ left a mark. Or several. Or none, I still don’t know.”

About Caitlyn Jenner

“I am influencer, so I understand that the things I say have weight, but I would never tell anyone what you can or cannot do. Remember, I’m Kim, not Karen [nos memes da internet, Karen representa a mulher branca de meia idade que reclama de tudo, mesmo sem ter razão]. And honestly, with all the ‘K’ names in my family, it’s really amazing that my mom didn’t pick Karen. Somehow, she knew. I don’t know how she predicted it and didn’t predict Caitlyn.”

About your family’s failed political careers

“I know we are now divided as a country, but I would love for the United States to unite, so I’m here to announce my candidacy for… Just kidding. I’m not running for president, we can’t have three failed politicians in the same family.”

About Kanye West

“I was very lucky in this life and I am grateful for everything. Including the ups and downs. I married the best rapper of all time. And not only that, he’s the richest black man in the United States. A talented and legitimate genius who has given me four amazing children. So if I divorced him, it seems clear that it was for one reason only: his personality.”

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